Some of us have lower self-confidence than we’d like. We watch (perhaps with some envy) as other people go through life certain that they are doing or saying the right things, and we can tell how good it feels, but we’re not able to make ourselves feel the same. Maybe it’s because we were told when we were younger that we weren’t good enough, and it took root inside us. Perhaps we’ve had one too many failures in our attempts to accomplish something, and it’s shaken our ability to believe in ourselves. Whatever the cause is, there are many techniques you can use for building self-love and confidence.
Seeing a talk therapist can certainly build self-confidence, but that type of therapy often takes quite some time. Hypnotherapy and Emotional Freedom Technique, on the other hand, generally work more quickly (browse this website for more information). Perhaps the easiest and most enjoyable path to building self-confidence in life is Guided Meditation.
“It is with your conscious mind that you want to make the improvement. Your subconscious mind doesn’t deal in logic or reason.”
Guided Meditation is, essentially, daydreaming. The reason it works is it gives your subconscious mind a chance to see that you’ll be safe, if you improve self-confidence levels. Your subconscious mind comprises approximately 90% to 95% of your entire mind, and it resists any change, even for the positive. It wrote a script, from your birth until you were seven, based upon the positives and negatives you experienced, and it follows that script.
Any time you try to make a change, your subconscious mind will keep you from making that change, and, even if you have some success, it will thwart your efforts with self-sabotage. The conscious mind, which deals in logic, reason, analysis, decision-making, and will power is only the remaining 5% to 10%. It is with your conscious mind that you want to make the improvement. Your subconscious mind doesn’t deal in logic or reason.
Simply keep reading. When you’re ready to give Guided Meditation a go, use a place that’s relaxing, where you can be undisturbed by anyone or anything for at least twenty minutes. Turn off all devices. Recline your body (lean back). It’s preferable that it’s not a place where you sleep, because you’ll be more likely to fall asleep doing this, but if you must use a place where you’ve slept, put yourself in a different position. Put your feet where your head normally goes, or sleep on the diagonal. If it’s your bed, put an extra pillow or two under your head and shoulders, so you’re propped up a bit.
Close your eyes, and take at least three long, slow, deep breaths. Imagine that you’re drawing the breaths all the way to the bottom of your abdomen, so that your stomach expands as you inhale. It may require some practice at first, because you’re used to breathing so your chest and shoulders move. That’s a good enough breath to keep you alive, but it’s quite shallow. Practice proper breathing, and you’ll find you become a calmer person simply by doing so.
After you’ve taken the breaths, focus your attention on your toes, and notice how relaxed they are. Allow that relaxation to move slowly into your feet relaxing the tops and bottoms. Then, move on to your heels and ankles, relaxing them. Slowly move up your entire body, relaxing each small area and not advancing until you’re sure it’s relaxed: your calves and shins; your knees; your thighs, and so on. When you’ve relaxed every small area, check to make sure you’re fully relaxed, and if you feel you’re not, send extra relaxation to any area that needs it.
When you’re done, count backward slowly from five to zero, allowing yourself to become more and more relaxed with each count. At zero, imagine that you’re standing before a lovely, closed door. On the other side of the door is the most relaxing place you can imagine. It might be a real place or not. It might be somewhere you’ve been or somewhere you’d like to go. It might be indoors or outdoors. Whatever the details, it’s the most relaxing place for you.
Open the door and step into this most relaxing place, allowing the relaxation to have its effect on you. Take a few moments to notice whatever there is to notice around you. If there are things you can see, notice what they look like. If there are sounds you can hear, notice what they sound like. Reach out your hand to touch something, noticing how it feels against your skin.
Take a moment to remember a time when you did feel confident, and allow that feeling to take hold in your body. Take your time enjoying the feeling of it. Imagine yourself feeling it in other situations. If you’re unable to remember a time when you felt confident, ask yourself what it would feel like. How would you know that you have achieved self-confidence? Where might you be or with whom? What might you be wearing or doing? How would anyone around you respond to your self-confidence? Notice as many details as you’re able to, using as many of your senses as you can.
Take as much time as you need to enjoy this wonderful feeling. You are not only enjoying it in this Guided Meditation, you’re also making it take hold in your subconscious mind. Think of it as building confidence self-help.
When you’ve spent enough time enjoying the feeling, say goodbye to this place for now, and step back out through the door through which you entered, closing it behind you and leaving yourself open only to positive suggestions. Slowly count back up to five, allowing yourself to become more awake and alert with each count. When you reach five, open your eyes and say, “One, two, three, four, five, eyes open, wide awake,” two or three times. The more often you use this Guided Meditation, the more self-confident you will become.
For more tips, visit this website again. To arrange a coaching, hypnotherapy or EFT session, contact me.
If you have issues that you want to release, Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) can help you do away with them.
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